27 August 2016

It was nearly midnight and the rain was starting, The drive between Omarama and Dunstan Downs beside the Ahuriri River was a lonely one that allowed many opportunities for contemplation - the SatNav unit showed only the road I was on and it was a straight one. And it was the big questions that were front of mind: Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? Maybe this really was the finale from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"?

Where I did I come from?

I started reflecting. 24 hours earlier I was snuggled up in bed at the Jet Park Hotel in Auckland, counting my lucky stars that I had a roof over my head and was in possession of all my belongings. Unlike Ray who only managed one of the two - his bag didn't arrive in Christchurch with him on Thursday night after our low slow and convoluted flight from New Plymouth to Auckland - on purpose our pilot told us to avoid the worst of the storm cells. A flight where the wind beneath our wings was fully synchronised with the towering waves of water a mere 9,000 feet below us off the Raglan coast. I'd joined him in the 50% club - but I only had my bag with me.

Life on Thursday night was indeed pretty cozy and there was not much to complain about. Especially as Otago had just thrashed Wellington at Forsyth-Barr earlier in the evening.

Why am I here?

I knew I should not really be here. But fate has that way of conspiring to twist space-time in ways that not even quantum physicists can get a grip on. I should have taken heed of the omens. My original plan was to fly directly home from Auckland. Be there by lunch time. At the last minute I was asked to attend a meeting in Wellington and as it seemed easy to reschedule and accommodate I willingly did.

The flight down from Auckland to Wellington was a non-event. Except that Michelle Boag was seated behind me and took great delight in telling everyone what she was doing and asking people which of the two prepared speeches that she had in her pocket should be read out that afternoon. Then I thought I was in a bad dream as she stormed past me on the concourse and I immediately ran into her life sized photo glaring back at me from a display stand. Space-time was playing cruel tricks. The disturbance in the Force was there for me to feel if only I would listen.

Once at my meeting it should have been apparent that bigger things were in play than I could deal with. Warren wasn't there yet (his flight was delayed) and the lollies had not been touched. Warren did arrive just after we started the meeting and he was concerned that the lolly bowls were half-empty. I countered that they were actually half full. Warren re-countered that they should have purchased family sized packs of pineapple lumps and jet planes.

So we had our meeting. After we'd finished, with our person that we were meeting with gone, we were in the debrief phase and it was probably clear that we needn't have bothered with the meeting. That was yet another sign. This was when things began to get interesting as the text messages on my phone started.

Air NZ:Flight Delay. Booking ref LULCUH. NZ5713 on 26 August 2016 from Wellington to Christchurch is delayed by 30 mins. Reply STOP to unsubscribe

No problem I thought. But next came:

Air NZ:Flight Transfer. Booking ref LULCUH. We have transferred you to NZ8075 on 26 Aug 2016 at 5:05PM from Wellington to Invercargill, NZ5381 on 26 Aug 2016 at 4:20PM from Christchurch to Queenstown. Reply STOP to unsubscribe

Now that is a problem. The last bus from Queenstown to Wanaka leaves at 5:45pm. Time to ring Air NZ. Their plan was to put me on the plane to Invercargill, which by this time would be arriving after 7pm (2 hours 5 minutes in a Q300!) with a bus transfer to Queenstown that would get me to the airport at 10pm. No bus to Wanaka I said.

Last time this happened Air NZ paid for a taxi to take me home. The Air NZ call centre said this was at the discretion of airport staff and that they could not authorise a taxi fare. I would have to ask at the airport when I arrived. Now you can all see the problem with this logic I know. The airport will be shut. Closed. Lights off and no one home. Thus no one to ask. Thus stranded.

So began the quest for an alternative. Casey at Orbit was marvelous. Warren and Greg chipped in with suggestions. Other alternatives flew around - Air NZ considered flying me back to Auckland then south again to Queenstown - that way I could talk to airport staff but as fate had it there were no seats to Auckland that would connect with the last flight to Queenstown. Greg suggested flying to Dunedin with him and getting a rental car. Not a bad idea - but what would I do with the car as there was no where to drop it off in Wanaka - I'd have to take it to Queenstown? And Greg's plane didn't arrive in Dunedin until after 9pm so it would be at least midnight when I got home.

The next idea was just fly to Christchurch and get a car from there. Sold. That plan should have me arrive home by 10:30pm. Casey rebooked all the flights and a car and we all headed to the airport. I checked in and the helpful Koru staff said they had pulled my bag from the Invercargill flight and put it on the Christchurch flight with me. The three of us proceeded through security and discussed the world at Koru. Warren left for his Blenheim flight. Time for me to depart Koru , exit the security area and leave Greg to enjoy is own company.

Those TXT messages then started again.

Air NZ:Flight Delay. Booking ref LULCUH. NZ5715 on 26 August 2016 from Wellington to Christchurch is delayed by 20 mins. Reply STOP to unsubscribe

Air NZ:Flight Delay. Booking ref LULCUH. NZ5715 on 26 August 2016 from Wellington to Christchurch is delayed by 1 hr 30 mins. Reply STOP to unsubscribe

The Invercargill flight left. My original NZ5713 flight actually left too - also very very late. They kept saying an announcement on NZ5715 would be made in 10 mins - there was a tarmac issue. No point enduring the security queue to get back to Koru so I stuck it out. One guy was very happy about the delay but he was chained to his prison guard and any delay returning to Christchurch Men's Prison made him smile. The grumpy expression on the face of his guard ensured that the universe stayed in overall balance.

Finally it was time to leave. And the reason for the delay was explained. There had been a fuel spill on the bit of tarmac that NZ5715 was parked at. Off we went in the pouring rain and arrived in Christchurch at 7:30pm.

My bag was doing the rounds on the regional belt when I walked in. I suspect it had been doing that for some time. Battered it was.

Rental car acquired. Marathon drive south begins. Stops at McDonalds in Templeton, and again in Geraldine and Twizel to stretch my legs. Home beckoned as I drove down the main street of Wanaka at 1:30am ...

... straight into a police chase. Flashing lights, speeding cars, the chasee heading towards me on the wrong side of the road right outside the fire station. All my collision avoidance training immediately kicked in as I instinctively swerved left into the fire station bay braking hard. Sirens and red/blue flashing lights disappeared up the street behind me and into the night.

No. I didn't make that up. It actually happened. Apparently the car was being chased all over Wanaka. Apparently our police here don't abandon chases like others do in other places. Bloody space-time was at it again. Warped. Maybe I should just walk the rest of the way home?

Where am I going?

Now this is the easy part. I'll drive the rental car back to Queenstown on Monday. Then get on a plane and go back to Wellington.

Or should I plan ahead and leave really early on Monday and drive up the West Coast, head through to Picton and take the boat?

For some reason at the start of the day I decided to turn on tracking. Here is is: